A simple evening

It is strange how one can break into peices and be completely shattered to the extent that hope and desperation feel one. I have been feeling so lately, all lost, all dazed, all gloomy. A state where nothing matters or means anything and I simply take each moment as it comes, unassuming and without any expectations. I am as scared of smiles as of the tears, both seem equally false and pain giving. I have never felt the surge of emotions so strong in me and never felt so helpless and hopelessly out of control.
Yet like a much needed intermission in a loaded and heavy art movie, where the few moments become absolutely essential, if for nothing else but for what is happening and being projected to seep in, I too had a simple lucid evening catching up with a college time friend. We never were the heart-to-heart friends, in fact I would not understate if I say we were but mere acquaintances, so not much of a past to share or mull over. Our worlds are so entirely different so not much ground for common talk there either. Yet just listening to 'so what happened after we graduated' stories felt good. In my current phase of overwhelming emotions and sense of loss, meeting you was a welcome relief my dear friend. Now let us see where this new beginning is headed. Hope the simple pleasures and smiles continue.
PS: People still care enough to think of niceities like roses and cards while meeting a friend. Feels good.

-Monica