It feels devoid of feelings now. I ask myself, why am I here? Yet I know if I was not, the restlessness and uncertainity would have crushed me. As I sit calmly awaiting, like I mostly do, it feels oblivious, empty, and blissfuly peaceful. Am I attaining the difficult to achieve state of detachment? If yes, then why do you matter, in fact why do I metter, and more ironically why do we matter? I missed the togetherness but at the same time at some level the mute acceptance of not being together is also setting in. The agony and pain don't scream any more, I am silencing them or may be they have already silenced me...
-Monica
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